A loaded question, to be sure, with various meanings.
When uttered to a girlfriend it can mean, ”OMGosh this is fabulous news! I must hear more, but first let me pee and grab my wine.”
When said through clenched teeth to your adorable offspring it can mean, “Dear lord, take the cat out of the toilet and why is the dog wearing my girl’s night out heels?”
In the quiet of my mind when I asked myself this morning it took on a completely different meaning. These three little words when asked about my business got me thinking: Am I serious about what I want and am I serious about getting it?
See, if you hadn’t guessed, I love to be playful, spontaneous and unpredictable. I refuse to take myself or life too seriously because I learned a long time ago it causes unnecessary frown lines.
But the question begged to be asked: “When is it a good idea to get serious and be clear and concise in what you want?”
Always…the answer is always!
Grab your coffee and take my hand for today’s Throwback Thursday…
The year was Nineteen-Ninety something, and I had a mad crush on a boy that could carry mulch like nobody’s business. (Swoon) I desperately wanted to date him. (We’ll stop there, because Mr. Dickson is still editing all my blogs…Love you, sweetie cakes!) No big deal; high school girls have crushes on boys all the time. Yet, I was afraid to go after what I really wanted because, “heaven forbid someone find out I wanted something, went after it and fell on my face.” So we went on for like 2 years, which is an eternity in high school girl years. I dated every single eligible mulch slinging high school boy at my place of employment and even had a harmless flirtation with one or two of the undergrads from OSU. But not this guy he was always just out of my reach. I concluded he “just wasn’t that into me.”
Then when we were at a party after graduation he had the nerve to ask me, “how come we’ve never gone out?”. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??????? I aloofly flirted with you for 2 years, dude! I drove way too fast in my red sports car with Warren G bumping crazy bass and acting like I didn’t see you cause I had on my dark sunglasses. I dated your best friend who was half as cute and half as nice as you; what more could a girl do? (Yes, I do indeed see the irony of it now— where was this clarity in ‘96?) but I didn’t do the one thing I needed to, to let him know I was serious. I never got clear with myself that I actually liked him and wanted to date him. I never took that risk of being (grasps pearls tightly) vulnerable. I had no clue that me not getting clear and settling for a dorky guy instead was part of what sent him the signal that I was unapproachable. I had no idea that my “too cool for school” attitude is what made him terrified to ask me out.
So what in the world does a 20-year-old story tell us about life and business today? Vulnerability is required to get what you want. Sorry, it sucks, I know. To admit to ourselves that we want something…really want it and not just “we’ll see what happens.” Because if you wait for a 17-year-old boy (when you are a 16-year-old girl) to take the bull by the horns, you’ll most likely end up waiting a long damn time…..Decide what you want out of life, out of your business, out of your relationships, and go for it. Make a decision to make life your bitch and get messy…….get vulnerable and enjoy the ride. In the spirit of vulnerability, take a few minutes to tell us a time you went for it and either made it or fell on your face….
It’s all right, we are all friends here, let me pee and grab my coffee and we’ll dish. What are you dying to get off your chest?